Dear (name TBD);
You’ve existed for about three to five weeks now. We already love you very much. Your Daddy and I (affectionately) call you sesame seed now because this pregnancy app I have on my phone told me that you are the size of a sesame seed.
So I don’t really know what I’m going to write here, I just figured this is a good place for me to put all my thoughts along the way since we have the technology now, and why not. Hopefully, someday you’ll read these. Hopefully, you’ll find all the stories about when you were in my belly, some of which I may forget, but they’ll be here for you. Hopefully, when we’ve gotten into an argument, and you hate us so much, I can use this blog as a guilt bargaining chip. These are all possibilities. As time goes on I figure I’ll start forming better ideas and thoughts, but for now, I’m just venting, okay? Also, your Daddy comes from very far away, and since Grandpa and Grandma Hourigan are still there, I thought this might be a nice way for them to see how things are going for you.
Speaking of your Daddy, he is so in love with you already, it’s so sweet. He’s reminded me everyday since we found out about you why I love him so much. I don’t know if you’re going to be a girl or a boy yet, but either way, he’s going to idolize you, I’m sure. Me, on the other hand, I think you’re gonna have trouble with. Don’t get me wrong, I love you so very much already too, but you and I hang out literally every second of everyday, while your Dad has to go off to work every day away from us. You and I are old buddies already, so you can’t pull your crap with me, kid.
I started taking babymama vitamins to make sure you grow up strong and healthy (and probably big, knowing the stock you came from on both sides). It was weird, I went to the pharmacy to buy them, but they were all on the lowest shelf. A bit ironic, I thought.
I considered pushing out my belly on the train home to get a seat yesterday because I figure, whatever, I’m pregnant anyway, might as well get use of it. But I didn’t because since I’m only 5 weeks along now, I might cry if someone actually believes I’m pregnant already.
I told your aunties Martha and Ashley about you because I just saw them for my 30th birthday party your Daddy threw me*. They’re so excited to meet you too. I haven’t told your Grandma and Grandpa Bennett yet - Grandpa Bennett (I wonder what you will call alll of them?) is away right now visiting all his friends in Cornwall, so I may tell your Grandma Bennett while he is away. Your Daddy told your Grandma Hourigan already and she was so happy to hear that you’re around now. Your Grandpa Hourigan is also away (but for work) so he’ll have to wait a little while to find out too. It’s early yet, so we’re only going to tell the Grandmas and Grandpas before we make your grand announcement to the world.
(*By the way, your Daddy threw me a wonderful fantastic surprise 30th birthday party a few days ago, and your Aunties Martha and Ashley came to town with Auntie Checkers and Uncle Matt. It was so much fun, and your Daddy was so sweet and nervous putting the whole thing together. We found out about you the next day about ten minutes before the USA vs. Portugal World Cup game. Suffice to say, it was the best soccer game your Dad and I ever watched. It was a great game too, to be fair. And you know how much your Daddy loves soccer. So it was appropriate, I think. All I know is that you are the best birthday gift I’ve ever received.)
I’m trying to relax and stay calm, but it’s hard! I’m so excited you’re here, but I also want to do everything right. I don’t want to screw up so I’m googling all the time (I wonder if you have google?) trying to figure out what I can and cannot do and what the best prenatal fitness classes are and pregnancy nutrition and all that stuff. I just want to make sure everything is perfect for you, and there’s so much to learn and do and research. I’m probably going to make some mistakes, but I really want to get the big things right. You’re a bit of a miracle, so I want to take care of you in every possible way.
So, what the fuck is with the hormones? I cried over a tv commercial for a dog and cat shelter this morning.
I quit smoking but boy oh boy I’d love a cigarette. I’m just being honest, kid. I love you, so I won’t smoke, but man, I’m jonesing.
Talk to you later kid.
P.S. Your Dad and I started talking about names. I don’t want to give you a name that’s so common that there will be like 5 other kids in your class with your name. I remember when I was in school there were always like 6 Jennifers, so there was Jennifer G., Jennifer S., Jennifer D. blah blah blah. That can’t be fun. I want you to have your own name and your own identity. But no child of mine is going to have a name like “Stone” or “Apple”. So we’ve been toying with some names, I just hope you like the one we chose.